Everything We Did to Help Us Conceive

Following our pregnancy announcement last week (thank you for all the congratulations, by the way!) I had several questions come through in my messages about if I did anything differently following the miscarriage while we were trying to conceive, so in this post I’m going to share everything we did to help us conceive. Let me preface this by saying that I’m in no way a medical professional and nothing I say here is intended to be medical advice. I am simply sharing what information I found and that I talked over with my doctor before implementing for myself. I encourage you to talk to your doctor about what is right for you.

I also want to say that I am the type of person who needs to feel like they are doing *something* to fix a problem. I have to be proactive. While I know miscarriage is extremely common, I felt like I needed to figure out what I could do, if anything, to lower the chances of that happening again. I had heard of the book “It Starts With The Egg” on the “Get Pregnant Naturally” podcast prior to the pregnancy we lost, and so I immediately ordered that book the day I got home from my D&C…desperate to do anything I could to even slightly improve my chances of a healthy pregnancy.

The book came in a couple days and I read it in one day, eager to make any necessary changes as soon as possible. I discussed the changes with my doctor before I started…her response to me was that she could not guarantee that they would help, but that they certainly would not hurt. And if I felt like I wanted to do something, then the things we talked about were safe for me to do and try rather than have regrets about “what if”.

Changes We Made to Help Us Conceive

The book really shows how small changes can have powerful positive effects not just on your fertility but on your overall health. The book is going to be your best resource for detailed information and the science behind it all, but I will outline the things that I did in a more general sense.

Dietary Changes

Food

One of the big things the book recommends is lowering your sugar intake, especially from processed foods. So that was one thing I did. I also increased the amount of healthy fats I was eating. Fat helps support your hormone functions so much and it’s really important. The quality of foods we were eating also changed. I switched almost everything I possibly could to be organic – organic fruits & vegetables, grass-fed organic meats, wild-caught fish, pasture-raised organic eggs, etc. Oh and I would eat 2 runny eggs every single morning. Eggs are so good for your eggs…but again, make sure you’re eating quality eggs. I really love Vital Farms brand which I’ve been able to find at Target, Ingles, or Publix.

I made it a point to always have healthy snacks on me if I was leaving the house, because I am prone to “hanger” episodes aka letting my blood sugar tank. This is not good. It’s very important to keep your blood sugar regulated. I also tried to slightly increase my protein intake over my carbohydrate intake simply by making sure I was prioritizing protein and trying to have some at every meal. I was also selective about the carbs I did eat – again reduced my sugar and processed foods intake dramatically – and instead chose things like complex carbohydrates: oats, quinoa, brown rice. The book further provides evidence that excess sugar consumption compromises fertility.

I definitely tried to most closely follow a Mediterranean-style diet which prioritizes health fats from fish, olive oil, avocado, and lots of leafy green vegetables. I also did not shy away from butter…specifically the Vital Farms grass-fed organic butter. Remember the quality is important.

As for alcohol – I all but cut it out while we were trying to conceive. I would maybe have 1 glass of wine maybe once every week or two if I felt like it, but I largely replaced alcohol consumption with kombucha – the probiotics in kombucha are so great for your gut health (yet another thing tied to fertility). Do I miss wine & margaritas? Yeah. But they aren’t going anywhere. I can have them again later. I found it wasn’t even hard to give it up when I so badly just wanted a healthy pregnancy – it was a nonissue for me.

Another notable drink change was that of coffee – I went from drinking usually 2 cups a day to just one. While some studies have found no impact on fertility, some research does suggest it might make it more difficult to get pregnant or extend your time to pregnancy. So I just did one approximately 8oz cup a day – and I’ve continued that while pregnant as my doctor has told me that is safe.

Supplements

I want to note here that I got my bloodwork done as well just to check on everything and make sure nothing looked out of the ordinary…everything came back looking within normal ranges but I felt like based on my levels and what the book said, that I could further supplement to support my body where I could. The science in the book behind how different vitamin deficiencies can impact your fertility is incredibly insightful. I encourage you to read the book to find out what would be best for you personally because what I took might not be in your personal best interest without knowing your bloodwork and talking to your doctor. I supplemented with:

Vitamin D
Prenatal – Something important to note about this brand is that they use methlyfolate, which is the bioavailable form of folate. Some brands use a synthetic form of folate called folic acid, which not all women have the ability to metabolize. The book goes into more detail but it is absolutely imperative that you are metabolizing your folate, especially if you do get pregnant since it dramatically cuts the risk of spina bifida and other neural tube defects.
Coenzyme Q10– Craig also started taking this daily in addition to his daily multivitamin and the same DHA as me (listed below)
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
DHA
Nutritional Yeast – I would sprinkle this on my eggs every morning for extra B vitamins. I also like sprinkling it over popcorn!
Magnesium- I took, and still take, magnesium every day and I love it so much. I use this powdered kind and mix 2 teaspoons into hot water at night. Sadly, my pregnant bladder isn’t handling the extra fluid so close to bedtime (hello waking up 12 times a night to pee) so I switched to the gummies version for now.

Lifestyle Changes

The rest of this post includes more detailed changes but I did want to say that I did my very best to eliminate excess stressors in my life. I turned down work opportunities so I could have more time to rest, I took more days off from working out rather than pushing myself if I wasn’t feeling it. I walked (slowly) more. I tried to let things go that previously might have bothered me…like made active choices not to let them stress me out.

I also tried to prioritize getting more sleep. I’d be in bed as early as possible with my magnesium & a book to read before bed. Many mornings I would elect to sleep in a bit more rather than working out first thing in the morning. I also stopped working out fasted in the morning, as I read it further stresses your body out. Also- if you’re doing intermittent fasting, you might want to look into stopping at least while you’re TTC. I don’t do it, but while doing my research I learned that most of the research on IF that praises its health benefits was, in fact, done on men, and that IF can have detrimental impacts to women’s hormone function. So just something to keep in mind.

Removing Toxic Products

Two major toxin groups outlined in the book that are good to avoid whenever possible are BPA and Phthalates. Both of these impact fertility.

BPA

BPA “has been proven to compromise egg quality” and there’s evidence that it also “interferes with the hormones that coordinate the reproductive system.” Furthermore, “High levels of BPA seem to increase the risk of miscarriage”…It’s important to note that “recent studies indicate the real concern with BPA arises when women have above-average levels.” So for me, I tried my best to avoid BPA whenever possible but also tried not to stress out about it too much, because stress isn’t good for fertility either! I aimed to simply lower my exposure wherever it made sense and I was able to do so. For me, that looked like:

throwing out plastic tupperware (even if they are listed as BPA free, many have another closely related chemical known as BPS that could be just as harmful) and replacing with glass. I got this glass set from Amazon.
never microwaving plastic bowls or plates, even if they are “microwave-safe” (I did this already, and stopped using any plastic bowls/plates all together)
I drink out of a glass or stainless steel water bottle
Not touching paper receipts at the store…they are coated with BPA & I’ve read the BPA can be in your bloodstream within minutes after touching one. I would simply tell the cashier I didn’t need my receipt. If you do touch it, just be sure to wash your hands as soon as you get home.
Buying canned food only if it was a BPA free can (although again, you can’t be too sure about what chemical has replaced BPA. Just one of those things I try to do my best.)
I replaced our cookware with the non-toxic Caraway pans and OMG I love them. They are a dream and SO easy to clean.

Phthalates

Phthalates are another type of toxin that acts as an endocrine disruptor and may impair not just egg quality but also sperm quality. Similar to the situation with BPA, women with higher levels in may be more likely to miscarry, but studies indicate that it’s very high levels of exposure that we need to be worried about because it would be impossible to completely avoid all phthalates. Phthalates get into our bodies through food (fast-food and highly processed foods) and through products we use that we either put on our skin or inhale through the air. Phthlates can be found in just about anything that is fragranced (which is why I mentioned on Instagram that I threw out all my Target scented candles and replaced them with Homesick candles – they are BPA & phthalate free) and I also replaced things like my hairspray, dry shampoo, perfume, & nail polish as those things have the highest concentrations of phthalates. Here are the products I got to use instead that are non-toxic and free of BPA & Phthalates:

Hair Spray
Dry Shampoo – I use both this kind (which is a powder form) and this kind (which is a spray)
Perfume (I wear scent Lovely Dreams)
Nail Polish – I use either Olive & June brand or Dazzle Dry

When in doubt, do fragrance-free, but you can also search the EWG Skin Deep Database for product safety. Ideally you want to use products that score a 1 or a 2. Not every product out there is in the database yet, but you can search for individual ingredient safety and check that way.

Also – don’t use fabric softener or dryer sheets. They are terrible. Unless of course you can find some that are non-toxic, but for me I don’t use them anyways so I didn’t seek out a safe alternative…but I know the traditional ones are full of pretty yucky stuff.

Next up I swapped body lotion. I originally was wearing Beautycounter’s Adaptive Moisture Body Lotion, but I found this Attitude Body Lotion that is EWG certified non-toxic & is less expensive and I like it better.

As for my skincare, I was already using all Beautycounter products anyways, which are all non-toxic, so I continued using those. I know these products are an investment, but a little bit goes a long way so they last a while and it’s important to me for peace of mind knowing I’m using safe products. If you’re interested in these products, something to consider is joining the Band of Beauty Member. You get free shipping on any order over $100, 10% product credit on your orders (to use for future purchases), and more.

Listing what I use below:

Since we are on the topic of safer personal products, I also use some Beautycounter makeup (this is a favorite lipstick of mine in shade “Terra” – I have worn since 2016! And this cream blush in shade Lychee Bright Rose) as well as their sunscreen. I also the items listed below from other places:

Mascara
Concealer (I wear shade 25N)
Bronzer (shade Grace Bay)
Tinted Moisturizer with SPF (pregnancy-safe also)
Eyeshadow
Shampoo
Conditioner

Cleaning Products

I also started cleaning our floors, vacuuming, & dusting once a week. Lead & other heavy metals can be easily tracked into your house from the bottom of people’s shoes, so it’s a great rule to leave shoes at the door! But I also would clean the floor with this each week. Similarly, per the book: “Flame retardants are released into household dust from furniture, rugs, & electronics…the best way to minimize exposure is to regularly vacuum and dust with a damp cloth.” As for cleaning products we use a lot of Mrs. Meyers and other cleaning products that are plant based, fragrance free, or phthalate free. I primarily use this laundry detergent.

Staying Strong/Growing in Our Faith

I also want to say that while I do think these changes made me overall healthier and supported my hormones to better have a healthy pregnancy…absolutely all the glory goes to God for this miracle. We prayed together every night for this baby, and clung to God in the moments of getting three months of negative pregnancy tests in a row. I know that is not a long time comparatively, but every single month you get a negative when you want a positive is gutting. I truly don’t know how I would have gotten through the loss and the months of trying to conceive (as well as even the pregnancy now with being more fearful this time) without God as my strength and shield. I encourage you to find that in Him first…it’s great to do what you can but ultimately it takes the pressure off of you when you can fully believe and trust that God is going to allow it to happen in His perfect timing.

To Conclude

One thing that I kept in mind was the book says its going to take about 3 months for these changes to take effect on your eggs. I kind of kept that in my mind each of the months that went by with a negative pregnancy test, and then on the 4th month of trying we finally got our positive. That’s just my anecdotal experience but wanted to share.

Please, if you’ve found this insightful or helpful, go order the book and read it in more detail. There is SO much more helpful information in it than I’ve even scratched the surface on here. And like my doctor told me…it’s not going to hurt your chances! And for me, any thing I could do, even little changes, I felt like would add up to make a difference. Don’t feel overwhelmed like you have to do all of this stuff immediately either…just do what you can when you can. It will all add up.

Other sources of information I felt were helpful were a couple of podcasts: Fertility Friday and Get Pregnant Naturally. I listened to practically all of those.

As far as how I tracked my cycle & all that, we used the Fertility Awareness Method as our primary guide and then I would sort of corroborate what I was seeing with this ovulation predictor kit & also these strips…yes I did both every morning 🙂 I also took my Basal Body Temperature each morning and used the Ovia app (which is where I’d track everything.) Another book I HIGHLY RECOMMEND is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It’s like the fertility bible. I also feel like I need to tell you I also purchased the Ava watch…and do not recommend it. While I was doing all of the above things to track my ovulation and cycle, I can say that the Ava watch was *never* accurate for me. Even after months of giving it time to adjust to my body to accurately “predict” ovulation. Just wanted to tell you because it’s an expensive device and I don’t think you need to spend that money when you can more accurately predict it yourself. Def buy the Taking Charge of your Fertility book because it will guide you every step of the way!

I hope this post has been helpful, and I hope I remembered to include everything. It’s a lot of info!! Sending you lots of love!

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xo,

Bess