Let me just start by saying I am kind of in shock that I am actually writing out Tegan’s birth story right now. Probably because I’ve been in a heavy newborn sleepless fog the last few days and also just sort of in disbelief that our little angel is finally here with us. I’m looking forward to sharing all the details about her birth because for much of my pregnancy with her, I was really worried about how birth would go. I don’t know why but I was actually more apprehensive about it as a second-time mom (knowing what contractions actually feel like, woof) and also as a mom that had experienced a loss. I just didn’t have quite the same level of naive optimism I had with Emma, but I did my very best to stay positive and not let my mind drive myself crazy with anxiety.
I had a placenta previa early in pregnancy that luckily resolved by 32 weeks, so I was cleared for vaginal birth which was what I wanted! I enjoyed Emma’s birth experience so much I wanted to try to replicate certain things, if at all possible. Much of birth is out of your control and I knew that, but it didn’t keep me from wanting it to go a certain way. Those things were hoping to go into labor naturally without using drugs for induction and a vaginal birth. Another thing that resolved in pregnancy was that Tegan was breech around 28 weeks, and so by 30 weeks I was seeing the chiropractor each week to help me with pelvic and sacral alignment which is helpful to baby getting into an optimal position. At the 32 week ultrasound, she had flipped to head down. Yay! I kept up my chiropractor appointments until the week before I went into labor.
So let’s get into the day labor started and into her birth day! It was a Wednesday and had my 39 week appointment that morning around 10:30. I was actually closer to 40 weeks at this point…Friday was my 40 week mark/due date. So we were 2 days out from her due date when we went to this appointment. I was 4cm dilated and 70% effaced when she checked me. Everything was looking good and I asked my doctor about doing a membrane sweep to see if it would get things going. She said yes – and warned me that it can be uncomfortable and that it would likely feel like she was “taking my tonsils out through my vagina” (LOL) and honestly, she wasn’t wrong. It’s really quick though, maybe took 30 seconds tops and she let me know that there was about a 50% chance I’d go into labor in the next 24 hours. We left the appointment and I was immediately having some increased Braxton Hicks as well as some back pain, but nothing super intense.
The day went on as usual…I picked Emma up from preschool and we took her to soccer that evening. At soccer I was standing up the whole time and I was just feeling like something was starting to happen. My Braxton Hicks were starting to feel a little different and I was really uncomfortable. When we got home I made us dinner while Craig got Emma bathed & ready for bed and I was definitely not feeling great. I timed my contractions for a while and they were about 45 seconds long and had about 3 minutes between each one, but at this point I could still easily talk through them and walk around doing stuff around the house. I called the on-call doctor just to see what they thought I should do and they said they thought given it being my second child, how close together the contractions were, and the fact I was already 4cm dilated that I should come in to the hospital for a labor check. I hated the idea of going and getting sent home, but I also just felt like it was actually happening so, we called Craig’s aunt to come over and stay with Emma (who was already asleep) so we could go to the hospital. She lives nearby and was going to be our “first call” to come over to be with Emma until my mom could make the drive from Durham.
We got there around 9pm and went into triage. They monitored baby and my contractions for about an hour and then checked me again…and told me I was still at 4cm so they didn’t think it was active labor yet. I was kind of floored because I knew these felt different from my normal Braxton Hicks, but I knew they weren’t like full blown yet either. The doctor told us that labor & delivery was slammed and they didn’t have a room they could admit me, so they gave us a choice: we could wait in the triage room for another couple hours to see if I progressed, or we could go home. I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t imagine being in that triage room for several more hours without the guarantee I’d get put in a room anytime soon. But I was also so uncomfortable it felt kind of wrong to leave, like we’d be going home only to come right back.
One of those scenarios ended up coming true, ha.
We decided to leave and go home. Craig & I both had slept terribly the night before so we figured maybe we could get some more sleep in our bed before the “real thing” started. We are about 15 minutes from the hospital so it seemed to make the most sense.
Well, by the time we got home I was having way more intense contractions. I tried to lay in bed and I was in a lot of pain so I decided to get into the bath. I was in there for 30 minutes probably and decided to get back out and get back in bed to try to sleep. The contractions continued to come and get worse/more intense. Craig said I sounded different with these than I had earlier. So I called the hospital back and they said to come back in again. We had sent Craig’s aunt home, and so we had to call her to come back again. Bless her, lol. When she got to our house we headed out. She even said that I looked different than I had earlier. Things had definitely taken a turn! I texted my mom this was the real thing after all and told her to plan to come first thing in the morning. She left Durham around 6am and was able to be with Emma for the next couple days we were in the hospital, which was a huge help. I was very stressed during the pregnancy about Emma’s care when we went to the hospital, so I’m glad it all worked out okay! Grateful to the people willing to help us 🙂
So back to the hospital we went…I could not sit in the car at all, riding in the car having contractions is the worst. I got into the back seat and somehow draped myself over the car seat and used my blanket as a pillow. I was moaning & heavily breathing through contractions at this point.
Back at the hospital and back in a triage room! Triage had been slammed the first time we came, and this time it was quiet – I think I was the only one that was in there. It was about 1am at this point. They monitored me and contractions again and said I’d be staying, they just needed a room to open up. Unfortunately, another woman came into triage after me but her water had already broken, so when the room opened up they took her back first. I was in triage for 3 hours laboring through contractions that were about 3-5 minutes apart. We had brought our HyperIce massage gun with us to the hospital, and I truly do not know how I would have gotten through those contractions without it. Craig would do it on my back and hips until the contraction passed and it really helped me so much.
I also let the nurse know that I wanted an epidural stat once I got into a room so that they could get that ball rolling for me!
At about 4:30am we got into a room…I was 6cm at this point and the epidural prep was happening. I think I only had to go through about 4 more contractions before the CRNA had the epidural placed and it was already taking effect…PRAISE. I wanted to feel no more of that!
We tried to rest and get some sleep then but I couldn’t get comfortable even though I had the epidural. As time went on I felt like it was too much, I was too numb…if that’s even a thing! I had to keep asking the nurse to come back in to help me reposition so I could try to sleep some but I never got comfortable until after the 7am shift change…when I got a new nurse. I was borderline having a panic attack about not being able to feel or move my feet/legs at all and not being able to rest. My nurse really heard me and did so much to make me comfortable…propping up my feet, legs, back and belly in a way I was finally able to rest…and I went to sleep for about 2 hours. I had also asked if they could turn the epidural down…to which they kind of looked at me like I was crazy lol I guess people don’t usually ask for a lower dose but I wanted to be able to feel something.
I was on the dose for my height (5’9″) and they turned it down to the dose for someone that is 5’2″. It made a big difference because I was still numb but had more sensation. After my 2 hour nap, the nurse checked me and said I was basically fully dilated with a small cervical lip on the upper portion. I expected her to just say let’s do some quick pitocin then start pushing (which was what happened in my birth with Emma) but my nurse actually said she thought it would be better for me to just rest and labor down.
Laboring down is basically just when you let your baby and body do the work…contractions naturally push baby down the birth canal so I just rested in bed for a few more hours while Tegan made her way down! I was soooo tired and was in and out of sleep during this time, so I was glad to get to rest instead of having to jump right into pushing. 10/10 recommend laboring down 🙂 especially with an epidural, I could feel the pressure of her head with each contraction but I wasn’t in pain. If you aren’t feeling ready to push or the urge to push, then talk to your nurse/doc about laboring down until you do!
Around 1pm I told my nurses that I was starting to feel a lot more pressure down there…I could literally feel her head with each contraction being so close it felt like she was coming out. The doctor was having a really busy morning so since I wasn’t actively pushing, we just continued to labor down until he could get in. About 15 minutes later he was able to come in and we got everything set up to start pushing!
This is the part of the experience I’m almost unable to write about because it’s so hard for me to find words. It was so just unexpected and surprising and fun and I don’t know…it was awesome. I did a “practice push” so the doc could see and he said yep you’re ready! The nurse told me how much of her head they could see and I was shocked. They had me push with the next contraction and I did about 3 pushes during that contraction…and the doc said I was crowning. I was like is that a joke?! I pushed with Emma for 2 hours so I couldn’t believe Tegan was so close already. I got a break between contractions again but honestly the pushing wasn’t even so intense as with Emma. I really studied how to best push this pregnancy so I’d be better prepared than I was with Emma – and the cue I found most helpful was to “push like you’re pushing out a tampon” (sorry if that’s TMI)…it just helps you make that mind/body connection of where to push better. The second set of pushes and her head was out!! We waited for another set of contractions but it was pretty spaced out so the doc just told me to go ahead and push again, but then told me to wait because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. He tried to get it off but then told me to go ahead and push again to “push through it” so I did and she came out!! He unwrapped the cord from around her neck and she was crying and he put her on my chest!! It was so amazing. I could not believe she was out with about 15 minutes of pushing. It was such a cool experience. I feel so grateful for both of my births and the experiences I have had.
Tegan Ann Carter | Born September 8th, 2022 at 1:31pm | 8lbs 3oz | 21 inches long
xo,
Bess
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