How to Pretend You’re Drinking When You’re Secretly Pregnant

I have had SO many requests from readers for this very post…likely because you all know my love for wine AND because I got pregnant in October, just in time to have to pretend like I was drinking throughout the holidays before we were ready to tell people! So today I’m going to share my tips for how to pretend you’re drinking when you’re secretly pregnant. These are just some of the things I did to be sneaky about it, so I hope you find some that help you keep your secret a little longer until you are ready to announce your pregnancy to the world 🙂

Have a Glass of Wine

By have a glass of wine, I mean either pour it yourself (say, if you’re at home with guests) or order it if you are at a social gathering. I had to do this at least 10 times but what I found is that most people are not paying attention to if you are actually *drinking* said wine (or whatever drink you like). Just having it in your hand usually is enough to have people not thinking twice about it. If anyone says anything to you, just make a joke about how you’ve been talking so much you’ve only had a few sips of wine 😉

Have a Partner in Crime

For me obviously this person was Craig. He would be responsible for “wanting to taste my drink” and taking large gulps to make the glass appear to go down. Poor Craig, double drinking, lol. For example, in early December we had to go to my uncle’s wedding in NYC. I knew this was going to be a challenge because my family loves a good wedding and a good drink! They would totally notice if I wasn’t drinking. When we got to the wedding, they handed out champagne to everyone and sat us at our table. Craig & I placed our champagne glasses right next to each other, so they were easily interchangeable and he could easily grab mine to help me out. Again, poor Craig. Generally, though, just a few sips will do the trick and you only really need to use the partner method if people are REALLY going to notice.

Actually Pretend to Take A Sip

If you have to, you may have to actually pretend to take a sip. (Hint: this is easier if you get a bottle of beer since no one would be able to tell through the dark bottle) . But just slowly put it up to your lips, tilt it back, and pretend to get a little. I actually did a lot of this and while I felt like maybe it was awkward, no one seemed to notice. I think people pay far less attention to us than we think they do!

Okay Actually Take a Sip, But Don’t Swallow It

Alright this is one thing that I did on the fly at a family Christmas gathering. Everyone would expect me to be drinking wine so when I got there I made sure plenty of people heard me audibly ask Craig to get me a glass of red. He did the partner method of helping me out a couple times, and then when the glass was almost empty, I announced I was going to go to the restroom and I threw back the rest of the wine into my mouth as I was leaving the room…but I did not swallow it. Once I was in the restroom I spit it back out into the sink. Only had to do that once, but should people be paying attention to you, you could try this! Just be sure to bee-line for the bathroom immediately.

Pour it Down the Sink

Okay it pains me to say this, but it’s one of the easier techniques to use…minus the fact some people may give you weird looks for bringing a drink into a bathroom. If you are at home, this is easy. Just sneak on over to the kitchen sink and pour a little out. If you’re out, just take your drink with you to the restroom and pour it in the sink then. Not all of it at once, you know, just enough to make it look like you’ve made a dent in it. RIP wine. Please forgive me.

Tell the Bartender

I utilized this technique at my uncle’s aforementioned NYC wedding and it really helped me out, because I swear one of my cousins was on to me!! I went up to one of the female bartenders (male would have been fine I’m sure but female just seemed easier like she’d understand) and I explained that I am pregnant but my family didn’t know yet, so that I needed to make it appear like I was drinking the same signature cocktails everyone else was having. She made me virgin versions and I went back to her all night. I gave her an extra nice tip for helping me out. My cousin seeing me actually drink the same drinks (so she thought) that everyone else had finally threw her off my scent. You could definitely do this at a restaurant as well…just get there a little early before everyone else and tell your waiter or the hostess.

Vodka Sodas with Lime

Obviously you can’t really have a vodka soda with lime, but you know what looks exactly like a vodka soda with lime? Soda water with lime. Order this at the bar and you can actually drink it and have people think you’re boozing. If you want to be more creative, have them throw in a splash of cranberry or pineapple juice. Just don’t get *too* fancy, because then everyone will want to taste your drink…which you don’t want them to do for obvious reasons.

Take Selfies with Wine

I had to do this on Instagram so people wouldn’t get suspicious!! But I continued my usual Friday night mirror wine pictures and also shared plenty of Instagram videos holding wine…even though it was Craig’s wine and I was just pathetically smelling it (smells so good & even better than usual when you can’t have it! LOL).

Alright y’all, that’s all I’ve got. I hope this helps you with some ideas for how to pretend you’re drinking when you’re secretly pregnant. If you have any others that worked for you, leave them in the comments below!!

xo,

Bess

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