2018 was a really great year, overall. It was a year of a lot of personal growth, big milestones (like quitting my corporate job to take on blogging + my business full time, and getting pregnant!) and just overall learning more about who I am as a person, what things I want to represent and what things I want to put out into the world. So today I’m essentially going to compile those things into the lessons I learned in 2018 + my 2019 goals.
Lessons I learned in 2018
It’s okay to let go of people, situations, or things that cause you stress, anxiety, or unhappiness. When I look back onto 2018 I think letting go of some people and situations that caused me a lot of stress & unhappiness was really one of the only negatives of my year. Well, the letting go part was a positive…but prior to that, the feelings of guilt I had before finally deciding to put myself first amidst allowing other people to suck the life out of me was a negative.
Pro tip: If you consistently feel like someone sucks all the happiness and energy out of you every time you leave their presence, then they probably aren’t a good fit for your life. I’m not even saying they will even realize they’re doing it. The intent is inconsequential, especially if you express how you feel and they don’t make an effort to understand or change. Don’t ever feel bad about putting yourself first. A person can only give so much.
It’s okay to feel lost. I mean, aren’t we all a little bit lost? If you don’t have the answers to what you want to be when you grow up…join the club 🙂 It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out. For me, when I am feeling sensitive about this, I just try to focus on doing productive things and praying on it, having faith that God is going to lead me to exactly where I need to be.
It’s okay to change your mind. You’re under no obligation to continue with something if you decide it no longer is the right choice. You’re under no obligation to like something you loved 5 minutes ago. It’s part of the growth. It’s all good.
It’s okay if other people don’t understand or support you. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me “what a blogger does” or if I “ever feel silly about what I post” then, well, I could be a retired blogger. Ha. But for real, some people I really love have made comments to me this year that I don’t think they intended to hurt me with, but they did nonetheless. And you might not be a blogger, but I’m sure there are things in your life you’d like to do where people make you question if you should do it or they try to make you feel ridiculous or bad about yourself. But you know what that is? That is THEIR PROBLEM. That is their insecurity. That is them not wanting you to take a leap and follow your dreams because then they don’t have to feel alone about not following theirs.
It. Is. OKAY. if people don’t support you, or understand. Do whatever you dream ANYWAYS. I am so grateful to have a husband that believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. That helps me a lot 🙂 I’ll leave you with this quote from Mark Twain, that I had taped to the inside cover of my 2018 agenda: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
Follow your heart. It knows you better than anyone. Don’t question it. The end.
Replace anxiety with prayer. I read somewhere something along the lines that “anxiety lives where prayer is missing.” Now, of course I know there are chemical imbalances that cause clinical anxiety & depression, and I’m not necessarily talking about those things. I just mean the everyday worries that can get to us and bring us down. To me I can become the most anxious when a ton of little things start piling on top of one another. Replacing those things with prayer allows me to give my worries to God, as He wants us to, and trust Him. Knowing that God’s grace is sufficient enough for anything that comes our way is so comforting. Replacing anxiety with prayer allows us to grow closer to God, to clear our minds of the day to day clutter and to really discover that He is with us, and will provide.
Put the blinders on. It’s easier to stay focused that way and not fall into a comparison trap that can leave you feeling inadequate or questioning your ability. I guarantee you other people are struggling too…even if they don’t share that with social media. So don’t get too caught up thinking everyone else has it all figured out. Just focus on yourself and your goals and you will go far!
My 2019 Goals
Embrace pregnancy and prepare to become the best mother I can be to our babe. I already love this little baby so much! It is kind of overwhelming to think I need to read all these books and learn all the things and yadda yadda….I am trying to just trust that at the end of the day, my maternal instincts will always know what to do. Yes we plan to take the classes at the hospital and I know I will read some books (any suggestions on good ones?!) but I am not going to stress about it. I really do (at least at this point, 12 weeks pregnant) feel a sense of calm about having this baby! Ask me again in a few months, Lol 😉
Soak in all the time with Craig while it’s just us. While of course we are so excited for the baby, we want to really enjoy the last of the time it’s just the two of us. So even though I already spend a ton of time with Craig, I want to be really present and mindful. Put my phone away and just be with him with no distractions.
Spend more time on a hobby I’ve always loved: Art. Drawing. Painting. And I’d even really love to learn calligraphy this year.
Re-learn Spanish. Yes, re-learn, lol. I think it’s true what they say, at least in my case: “if you don’t use it, ya lose it.” I always loved Spanish in school and took high level Spanish courses in college, so much so I considered majoring in it. But, I never used it after gradiuation, and forgot so much. I still know some of course, so the good news is I already have a great foundation & picking it back up should be easier. I am using the Babbel online courses & app. I got the program for the year, so I am excited to find the language again!
Grow my business in new directions through existing passions. I can’t wait to see how this unfolds. I have a few ideas already but still working through how I want it all to look. Stay tuned 🙂 It’s going to be different than anything I’ve ever done!
Continue to grow deeper in my faith through my daily devotionals & time with the Bible. I plan to share a post specifically about the daily devotionals I do and the journals I have, plus the routine I have for reading them each morning. It’s something that will always be a goal for my new year so this year is no different.
Evaluate Value. If you read this post then you’ll know exactly what I mean!
Purge our home of anything that no longer serves us. Continue to shape The Carter Cottage into everything we want it to be. We already started on this over the weekend and cleared out a bunch of bags full of blankets & clothes, and other items to donate. We have other renovation projects we plan to start, too, including a new guest bathroom, tearing out the built-ins in our master, maybe replacing the old carpet with new, and of course decorating a nursery! Just to name a few. I plan to share it all, of course!
Those are pretty much my lessons from 2018 and goals for 2019. I’d love to hear your thoughts and any lessons or goals that you’d like to share!!
xo,
Bess
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